The WI ladies of Mark Cross,
Had a penchant for Jonathon Ross.
The thought his appearing,
on the TV endearing,
but they'd still like to teach him who's boss!

There is an old Gent in Mark Cross,
who went for a ride on his hoss.
He got caught in a flood,
was covered in mud,
and had to re-dress at Moss Bros!

There is a good wife from Mark Cross,
who likes to think she's the boss,
she gets up at six,
her face for to fix,
but her efforts are just a dead loss.

Her husband, poor man, is a saint;
Is sick of the sight of war paint.
He says wash your face,
you're an utter disgrace,
a looker you certainly ain't!

She replied, you're a horrible tyke,
I advise you to get on your bike.
Why don't you go,
back to Town Row,
and I'll bring in my new fella, Mike!

Now Mike is a bit of a dish,
he is here every night, Oh I wish!
He isn't like you,
he likes what I do,
as long as he gets chips and fish!!

There is an old Gent in Mark Cross,
who was to retire by his boss.
He was walking one day,
while drinking Earl Grey,
to discover his hair was a-loss!

There is an old Gent in Mark Cross,
who lives next door to his boss.
He woke up one day,
and had a great fright,
to discover his wig was all moss!